When All You Wanna Do Is Cry....

So As I said on my very first post, my husband and I have been talking about having a baby for like the past 6 months or so but like a month ago we really decided to try. I was on the Depo birth control shot for around 4 years. I was one of the "lucky" people who didnt have a period at all. Or so I thought it was lucky till I wanted to have a baby. When I went off the shot I still didnt have old aunt flow, which really concerned me. I learned that it tends to be a normal thing to happen after being on the shot. The doctor put me on the pill to try and get my menstrual cycle back on track. I was on the pill one month and when the off week happened I had a really bad period and almost had to go to the ER from losing too much blood. The doc took me off of the pill because of my reaction and guess what, my period stopped again. So I went back on the pill and have been on the pill since march. And thankfully I have had a period every month since. I am actually on it now which might be why I am so emotional about the whole subject. I am trying to lose my last 20-30 lbs before I go off the pill because lets face it I dont want to be an overweight pregnant person. See the thing is I have been really sad and depressed when I see pregnant women since we decided to start trying. Just today I found out that a girl who was pregnant a few months ago and didnt want to baby so she decided to abort it is pregnant again but keeping it this time. And then I find out that a couple I know who really didnt want to get pregnant found out today that they are. I know I should be happy for them but all I feel is angry and slightly pissed off because they didnt want to get pregnant when all my husband and I want is to be parents. I just I feel bad for having those feelings. I am really scared with my problems with the depo shot that its going to make it even harder for us to conceive. I just dont know what to do or how to feel. All I feel like doing is crying. My mom and dad had a lot of trouble getting pregnant with me, it took them 3 years and I just dont want that. I am only 22 years old, I guess I just never would have issues with being so young. I am just scared and sad and I am lost...