Does Distance Really Make the Heart Grow Fonder? It Sure Does :-)

This past month has been a rollercoaster of emotions. We recently officially started to try and have a baby. I went off my birth control and last month was my first month in 5 years without any form of birth control. I was on the depo shot for 5 years and that screwed up my hormones and my cycle bad but after a year of taking the pill to regulate my cycle I think my body has finally caught up to where it should be. We were trying this whole last month to have a little one but we didnt have any luck this month. I have heard it can take up to 90 days for the birth control to get completely out of my system so I am going to not worry until its been 4 months with no luck. But since my cycle is back to normal thats good news and it gets me just that much closer to a baby. You could definitely say we are having baby fever.lol. My weight loss came to a stand still because my vehicle doesnt work and mike has been working extremely late nights the past 2 weeks so I wasnt able to go to the gym. I tried working out at home but didnt have as much luck at home as I do at the gym. I didnt gain any weight which is good but I havent really lost any either. Then this whole budget crap was uber stressful. I am so glad the government didnt shut down because I have no clue how my family would have survived without mike getting paid. Thankfully they passed it and now we will get paid like normal but who knows what will happen when the next budget goes into place in September. We just found about deployment finally. I cant say when exactly but it will be within this year and he is going to the middle east.lol. Since we know he will be deploying that means me and the dog will end up going back to my hometown. I would much rather have my hubs with me than going home but it will only be a year then hopefully I wont have to say goodbye to my love. That is the day I wait for and look forward to with all my might. We say goodbye now so we wont have to in the future. I just pray for his safety whenever he is away from me. I will have his truck for a few weeks while he is away training and in those few weeks I want to loose another pant size and get around to where I was when we got married. I cant wait for him to be home thats all that I know for sure. We have been married almost 3 years and he has probably been gone over half of that time. I just look forward to the day when we see each other so much we get sick of it.lol. To the day when I no longer have to see him walk away. To the day when we can grow old together instead of apart. Any military wife knows how I feel. But I do all of this because I love him and I would rather be with him and him leave for a short while then not be with him at all. Whats a year when you have your whole lives together!!!

Day Off....

So as you may know i have been on a diet and working out like crazy to drop this weight. Well my husband and had talked about in the past to have cheat day once every two weeks so we dont get burned out from the diet. Well last night was our cheat day. Hubs got his Buffalo chicken and I got a burger with a shake and to be honest it wasnt as good as I remember it being when I was eating like that all the time. Mike agreed with me and now we have been sick like all day today since eating that for dinner. Like I have no clue how we used to eat like that more than once a week. Its just not natural for our bodies to ingest all that grease and fat and I know for a fact thats why I was always sick when I was eating all that crap. I cant tell you how much better I feel since switching my diet. From just eating that one time like that my stomach has been like so upset today and like I just feel all sluggish. So I am pretty sure the next cheat day I am not going to eat that kind of meal again. So like I wanted to share my decision with pretty much cutting out great and fatty food for good!!!

He Did It!!!

So my husband got pinned E-5 SGT friday before he came home from work!! I am so excited and proud of him. He has been working his butt off these past 3 years and I am so happy the time and energy he has put into it is finally paying off for him. I honestly dont know anyone who deserved it more. You see my husband takes pride in his job and I know for a fact he will make an amazing NCO because he cares about his soldiers and will do everything he can to help them. He is the most amazing person I have ever met and I can honestly say my life is so much better since he came into it. He has brought so much love and joy to my life and I wouldnt be the same without him. I met him over 7 years ago and I cant say these past 7 years have been perfect but things that happened in our past and between us made us who we are now. I dont think our relationship would be half as good as it is now if not for the choices we made in our past. We have been through a roller coaster of emotions and I love him more today than I did yesterday and I will love him more tomorrow than I did today. But to what I was saying, he is a great man and I know without a shadow of doubt he will be an amazing leader and will do what he can to be there and help his soldiers. I am so proud and honored to be his wife!!

New Beginnings!

So its been a while since I have posted anything. Lets see, a lot has happened since October. In December my husband went to a promotion board and passed with only 24 hours of studying and I am so proud of him. We have been waiting since then for him to make points so he can become an NCO. He made points for Jan but wasn't able to get all the paperwork in in time. He made points in Feb and has been waiting to get pinned, which has been a bunch of drama and people not knowing how to do their job.lol. But we are hoping by the end of this month he can officially be Sgt Williams!! We want to get it done before the 1st of March because he is wanting to reenlist and that needs to be March 1st. We are trying to pay all of our credit cards off so we can be debt free! That will be nice to no longer have credit cards! I really cant wait to be debt free because I have to buy a new car for me. My explorer took a crap on me and died so I have to get a new one because living on one car is not easy. I know what I want but Idk if it will be what we get.lol. I am completely in love with the Mini Cooper and I want to find a used one. Mike said we will get it if its what I want, such a sweetheart! We recently started working out daily and eating so much better and watching how much we eat. Its been nice and I have been having a lot more energy since we started it. I have lost around 20 pounds so far so thats GREAT!!! I know I have been so sore I can barely move because its been so long since I have worked out my muscles like this. Mike has been trying to lose a little but gain muscle. Me, I just want to lose some fat.lol. All this pain and not eating grease will be worth it once I get to where I want to be. We all are trying to get healthy, even our dog! We have out her on a diet and trying to get her more exercise, she like her momma is overweight and she needs to lose about 20-25 pounds. Its going to take a while for her but we want her to be healthy and live for 20 years! We have been talking more about having a little one. I want to be a mom but at the same time I am scared for it to not be just the two of us anymore. Its only been us for over 7 years and it just makes me worry how we will handle it. I think we will be really great parents and we will love our baby more than anything but Idk I guess sometimes I wonder if it will take a toll on our relationship. I am probably just worrying for nothing but its something I think about sometimes. I know we have decided that this cycle of birth control I am on will be my last. I dont see us getting pregnant fast, especially since I have been on birth control continuously for the past 5 years. I am pretty nervous that its going to be hard for us to get pregnant because endometriosis runs in my family and my mom thinks I might have it. And on top of all of this my husband is deploying again sometime within the next 7 months, I cant say the exact month or time frame due to OPSEC rules. This not stating stuff like training and deployment times to keep our soldiers safe. This will be our second deployment, everyone says it will be easier but I dont think it will be. Its hard for me to be away from him for a week let alone for a year or longer. We still dont know when he is leaving which is irritating to say the least. Since he is trying to get healthy he has decided to quit tobacco which surprised me. Its not a secret I dont like it but its one of the few things that helps him calm down at work with how stressful his job is. It shocked me when I asked if he needed me to pick up anymore and he said nope I quit. He has been using these nicorette lozenges and they help some but he has been really moody since he quit the tobacco.lol. But I will live with a crappy husband than a tobacco using husband.lol. I think that is pretty much it for now. I am going to try my hardest to keep this updated from now on.

When All You Wanna Do Is Cry....

So As I said on my very first post, my husband and I have been talking about having a baby for like the past 6 months or so but like a month ago we really decided to try. I was on the Depo birth control shot for around 4 years. I was one of the "lucky" people who didnt have a period at all. Or so I thought it was lucky till I wanted to have a baby. When I went off the shot I still didnt have old aunt flow, which really concerned me. I learned that it tends to be a normal thing to happen after being on the shot. The doctor put me on the pill to try and get my menstrual cycle back on track. I was on the pill one month and when the off week happened I had a really bad period and almost had to go to the ER from losing too much blood. The doc took me off of the pill because of my reaction and guess what, my period stopped again. So I went back on the pill and have been on the pill since march. And thankfully I have had a period every month since. I am actually on it now which might be why I am so emotional about the whole subject. I am trying to lose my last 20-30 lbs before I go off the pill because lets face it I dont want to be an overweight pregnant person. See the thing is I have been really sad and depressed when I see pregnant women since we decided to start trying. Just today I found out that a girl who was pregnant a few months ago and didnt want to baby so she decided to abort it is pregnant again but keeping it this time. And then I find out that a couple I know who really didnt want to get pregnant found out today that they are. I know I should be happy for them but all I feel is angry and slightly pissed off because they didnt want to get pregnant when all my husband and I want is to be parents. I just I feel bad for having those feelings. I am really scared with my problems with the depo shot that its going to make it even harder for us to conceive. I just dont know what to do or how to feel. All I feel like doing is crying. My mom and dad had a lot of trouble getting pregnant with me, it took them 3 years and I just dont want that. I am only 22 years old, I guess I just never would have issues with being so young. I am just scared and sad and I am lost...

When Life Hands You Lemons... What Do You Do?

If you were to have told me 5 years ago where I would be and what I would be doing I never would have believed you. I have pretty much put my life and career on hold and that wasnt something I ever thought I would do. I have always been a glass half full kind of girl but to be honest things that have happened in the last few years has changed my prospective on things. The same can be said for my husband, he was always a very happy and easy going guy until the Army came into our lives and totally turned things upside down for the both of us. Dont get me wrong for some the Army can be great and give you a lot of opportunities but for an Infantryman not so much. My husband is a Grunt, he is the dumbass (pardon my french) that runs towards the bullets when I want him running away from them.lol. I think life would be so much easier if he just had an easy going desk job or anything but 11B. I am proud of him more than anything, but to be completely honest this job has aged us both like 10 years. This is a very stressful job where I never know when he will come home if he does. I know its the army and we are at war but with 11B its so much more intense. He is my hero and I love him to death. I guess it boils down to me missing him all the time and I am tired to missing my husband to be frank. He is works late and is out to the field all the time. It isnt like when he deploys he gets to sit on a nice comfy base where he is safe, when he deploys he is out in the middle of BFE and has mortars fired at his base daily and can hear them flying over where he sleeps at night. I wish he was content with being on some FOB and wanting a comfy safe job. Before the Army, well actually right after he joined and we got married we both used to be so optimistic and looking forward to everything that came our way. Slowly but surely the army has changed all of that and I dont know how to get that back. I want to be a glass half full gal again, I liked things so much more back then but when everything just falls apart and stresses you to the max daily I dont know how to do it. I am hoping and praying that if we can just leave this Post and Bliss and go somewhere else that things will get better or easier at least. I want my carefree optimistic and somewhat innocent husband back but I dont know that with what he has seen if thats even possible anymore. Maybe when we move to a new place I can actually get a job and leave the house without being worried if I am going to get hurt or worse. For those of you that dont know much about El Paso, Texas. Its right across the border from Juarez, Mexico which is extremely not safe. Plus I would say 90-95% of the population are hispanic and probably 60-70% dont speak english and since well my spanish isnt the greatest I was told I would not find a job here. Which means since we have moved here I have had nothing to do and I think that just makes me just that much more glass completely empty. And it makes me miss and yearn for my husband just that much more. I am praying that something changes and soon because I want to have a child and be a mother but I dont want to do it here in Texas. I really hope not all 11B wives have the came experience that I have had.

New Beginings and Life so Far...

Where to start... Well I am 22 years young and I have been married to my best friend and the love of my life since 10 June 2008. I met my husband when I was only 16 years old and its been an amazing adventure since. He is enlisted in the United States Army as an Infantryman, he has been through one deployment and expecting to deploy again next summer some time. I support my husband and everything he stands for and I support our brave soldiers. I have been an army wife for a little over 2 years now and let me tell you this isnt for the faint hearted. We currently have no children but are wanting to be parents more than anything and are going to start trying as soon as I can lose the 50 pounds I gained since we got married and our last deployment. This isnt going to be an easy journey for me but I want to be a mom and I would do anything to do so. We do have a 7 year old Staffordshire Pit Bull Terrier that we have had since she was 5 weeks old, she is our baby and we love her like she came from us. I miss my family so much, I never thought I would miss my mom as much as I do, we have one of those love/hate relationships where all we do is fight and get on one anothers nerves.lol. My parents have been through a lot and are in pretty poor health anymore. my dad has had diabetes since he was 18 when his brother died, he was diagnosed with kidney failure like back in 1999-2000 and he didnt get any worse where he had to go on dialysis till late 2008. He has been battling to get on the transplant list ever since. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005 and thankfully they caught it when it was only stage 1 and with a serious round of radiation she went into remission. This December will mark her 5 year mark and I couldnt be happier. I have 2 half sisters but they have always been more like whole sister. My mom was married once before and my sister where from that marriage. My oldest sister is 15 years older than me and my other sister is 13 years older than my. I am the only child my father has had due to a tubal pregnancy my mom had when I was a toddler. My family has been through a lot but I think that it has only made me appreciate them and love them that much more. My life has had a lot of ups and downs and I have gotten quite a few bumps and bruises along the way but its definitely made life exciting and never dull. Honest I wouldnt have changed anything that has happened along the way because it has made me into the woman I am today!